You get my hopes up with your promises of text messaging, mobile web browsing, smart phone technology, and a great customer experience....and then you crush them all!!
Is it too much to ask that I send or receive a fucking text message within a reasonable amount of time?? Here I am trying to relay messages to my Save the Children advocates, and you're killing me here. There are poor starving pot-bellied Ethiopian kids that I could be shipping Snickers bars to (for a tax write-off), and you're cutting off my communications and methods of doing so. They're starving.......poor kids.......you're starving them!! I'm trying to fulfill my duties as a fucking humanitarian here.
I can't even get the simplest pleasures in life like reading ESPN while I crap! What kind of monsters are you? How is a man supposed to survive with no bathroom reading material??? It completely eliminates the balance and tranquility that someone deserves.
Hey I know, I'll call someone instead! I don't actually call people that much anymore, as I seem to be akwardly addicted to texting now instead. I guess 4 years on the phones at that shithole of Dell burned me when it comes to hearing a human voice over a phone. Ok, so well the phone call thing was the idea I was working on, until I walk outside to try this undisturbed and realize I have no signal at all. WTF!?!?! I'm in the happy part of your coverage map. I've looked at it in person! How is it I stand outside in the middle of town and there isn't shit for bars?
Dammit I wish my service plan wasn't so cheap. I'm gonna beg the Verizon lady to try and hook me up tomorrow.