Saturday, December 27, 2008

Kiss My Ass Santa


Ok, so after working at Circuit City for a year and a half, and Dell for four years I've made a decision.....I basically hate Christmas now.

Last minute shoppers I think could safely be placed on the bottom of the food chain, and their only purpose in life is to completely piss me off. Somehow their stupidity in life for tryin to buy everything on their list when no stores have shit left, is my fault. Honestly, the crybaby adults that can't handle the reality of us not having anymore Nintendo DS units are worse than their snot nosed bastard kids that have to have them.

Here's an idea.....stop being a fucking moron and shop in advance. And just because you've driven to every other store in town doesn't mean I can pull that Ipod Touch out of my ass to accommodate you. So no....you won't be getting your bastard child , yes you are a horrible parent now. Your kids will hate you this year. You suck..deal with it.

Despite the bullshit, there have obviously been some positives to the holidays. I'm now rocking a new Ipod Nano. And yes, your kids didn't get one and I did. Ha ha ha....fuck you!

Another upside, I got to see the biggest caucasian afro in my fucking life. And to top it off, it was an old ladies afro so it was the big curl silver kinda shit. The thing was fucking magnificent!!

Click the image for the full size pic.


Now this took some real work to sneak these pics. I had to ninja stealth up and down the printer aisle with my camera phone to get them. You come in so handy my little Palm Centro. And yes, I know, it may seem stupid to some to take pics of this poor unsuspecting old lady. But fuck that, this is one HUGE freakin afro. Every member of the Jackson 5 couldn't pull this off.

Ok, so after that I'm thinking this is gonna top off my "WTF happened to you?" hair fix, but not so much. Me and the woman decide to go to Golden Corral a couple of days later for my birthday. Well, I decided we're going to eat there. It's my birthday, so fuck it. Anyways, we're sitting in the car so I can finish off my smoke and there's this freakishly amazing mullett that gets out of a Chevy Avalanche. Let's get one thing clear. A good mullett is one thing in life you have to admire. Well, you actually have to admire the work put into a good mullett, and then also appreciate the huge balls of the person who wears it. Being in Texas, I get more opportunities than most to witness them. And yes, my little Centro is there for the save again.

Again, clicky clicky for the bigger image...

This thing blew my fucking mind. As we got into the car and headed inside, I couldn't help but stare. And her redneck husband with the fucked up comb over haircut and mechanic shirt just added the perfect compliment to this.

So yeah, the idiot shoppers made my holiday kinda shitty, and hell they still are. We've got jackasses coming in even today pissed off cause we don't have shit back in stock yet.

Lick.My.Fucking.Sack.

At least now it's almost all over, and I do at least get some satisfaction in ruining their kids holiday dreams.