Thursday, March 12, 2009

Extended Vacation = Not So Fun



Ok so I've realized being in the tech industry has two extreme opposites. I think I've firmly established in my opinion that there's no inbetween to how it works. One....the industry is going good and life is great. Now granted, most times the job itself sucks ass, but still there is an upside to it. The money is good, shit is moving forward, and you get a certain level of pride and respect during this time. I can always find some way to find the job I have sound even more important than it really every could be just by using big words, and most people don't have to fucking clues as to my bullshit cause they don't understand any of the lingo. Hell even on the kick ass important jobs I still do it just to boost my own ego.
Then you hit the suck ass part that I've found myself in on for a second time. Unexpected vacation.
Now vacation is normally not a bad thing. True, I never got much chance to actually use much, if any, of my vacation time. It's a sacrifice. But anyone in this line of work can attest that they dread getting that call or email. Yes hi Nick it's [insert a-hole boss name], I'm goign to need you to come to my office. Wait a minute.....This assclown never talks to me directly. Any communication always goes through [a-hole employee 1] and then [a-hole emplyee 2] before it hits my inbox. What....the...fuck?
This is the point in life where you know your employment status is officially fucked. You stand up and start looking around your office/cubicle to figure out which shit should go into the same boxes. You take a minute or two to stall the situation, and think perhaps if you ride it out as long as possible before going into [douchebag boss] 's office that he'll magically forget the whole thing and leave you with a paycheck. Yeah no....it won't happen. There's too much of a string of emails between that assclown and about 30 other corporate fucktards on how many people they're planning on crushing the balls of, along with a list of how it'll be beneficial to the company. No, it isnt' really beneficial. It just means you do a semi-important job but they're just tired of paying you what you're worth. In this case they'll (a) delegate the job to someone else on top of their duties at the same pay, which in turn will cause that employee to put your picture on a voodoo doll or (b) outsource the job to some guy in a 3rd world county who has never wiped his ass with 2 ply toilet paper and gives himself the assumed name of "Robert" when he answers the calls. We knew his name is really Akhmed Boolahoolahoola. And no, he doesn't really live in Pensacola. Have him tell you where he lives....he can't even pronounce it. However, he's good at reading from a script and works for 30 cents a day.
Now, let's look at my now former employer Circuit City. What you have, well had, is a 60 something year old electronics retailer. Like all other companies, they're had they're ups and downs. It happens, they always bounced right back. I had the kick ass job of running the PC services division, aka firedog. Yeah I know, corny name....I know. Anyways, the corporate powers that be thought it was to bring in a new corporate jackoff named Phil Schoonover to help turn things upward.
I'm assuming that someone missed the memo mentioning that Schoonover completely sucked balls at Bes t Buy during his trip there. So anyways, he shows up, and unexpectedly, things go completely to shit. Remember that note earlier about firing the good employees and replacing them for cheap labor? This guy had a hard on for it. Shit canned 3400 reps in place of guys that were paid minumum wage that couldn't wipe their own ass much less explain what an HDMI cable did. Absolutely fucking brilliant. Now, I know I'm only a mid level peon......but I think I can help everyone here with a valuable lesson. Spending every bit of cash you have in your company is a very, very bad idea. Hench, the company is now broke as fuck, can't pay vendors, and had to liquidate the whole fucking show. So yeah, we then get the fun of closing my store down, and then heading out to Harker Heights and helping them close their store down too. At least with the Harker trip, I got introduced to Genghis Grill. Kick ass place....you should go sometime.
Ok, so with that slightly long winded history lesson, it brings us up to speed with my expected vacation. Now during the last couple of weeks, I thought the time off would be kind of nice. I rarely every took time off work as it was. Hell I even ended up with over 140 hours of PTO that was left sitting there. So yeah, relax and enjoy time right?
No, this fucking sucks big balls!! We got cut loose Sunday, and the following Monday was cool. I had a bunch of employees over to my place and we got drunk as shit till 5am. Since then, I'm bored as fuck. This area isn't exactly tops in my line of work as it is, and this economy is fucking up everything. The highlight of my day is sitting on twitter just to see how many people I manage to piss off. This has completely not gone the way I expected it too, and I'm out of tequila now which really pisses me off. I thought about looking into outdoor activities, and although I didn't think of shit, they're ruined anyways due to shitty weather. I thought about doing my laundry today, then realized I already did it a couple of days ago. The livingroom is completely cleaned already. This....is.....fucking.....lame. Everyone else needs to quit there jobs so they can be around to amuse me.
So I had an idea Tuesday that would help kill time, and let me be at least somewhat productive. I'll go to the grocerystore and pick up a few things we need around here!! Now keep in mind, I've gone to the grocery store a million times, so this is nothing new. What is new, however, is going during the day. I usually work noon to evening, so this going during regular hours when the sun is still out is somewhat foreign to me. Fuck....are you kidding me?? I sat there for 5 fucking minutes just trying to turn into the fucking parking lot. Don't these people work????? I'm the one without a job, not you!! Go back to work and contribute or something! How is it this many people can be out fucking around somewhere stupid like a grocery store and their bosses don't realize they're gone? I need that kind of job. Fuck you grocery store. Fuck you hordes of people that cause me to repeatedly say excuse me 20 times before I'm basically forced to ram my basket into yours in order to get by. Fuck you check out line bastard who asks me if I want to take advantage of today's deal on shampoo when you can't look up for one second and realize that I shave my head. You should work the McDonald's drive-thru instead.
Fuck I need a job soon.
On a side note, my swimming pool now looks like lime Jello....