Monday, December 6, 2010

Hotsauce and the Cornhole Explorations

I try not to let myself get too old and start to become a prude.  I try to keep my mind open.....really.

When it comes to sex, I realize that people all have their thing.  They like feet, tits, leather, saddles, the whole lot.  I tend to think that after numerous years of Real Sex on HBO in my early years, and then the internet, I've seen or heard of it all.  I can still be caught off guard however....

Hotsauce....right in the ass.


I had a co-worker today that for reasons I won't ever understand, decided to confess this to our whole team. Now I wasn't part of the beginning of this conversation, but I doubt someone randomly said "so what has everyone had lodged up their ass this year?"

I can't make up shit like this.  This dude, who we shall now refer to as "Agent Anus", let his woman stick her finger in hot sauce, then park it right in his ass.  Apparently, he was quite content with this.  My friends, there are certain things that I like to consider "poor life choices" and this is one of them.

I personally am not one to let any woman stick a finger up my ass for any reason.  I've never allowed this to happen, and I'm quite satisfied in the quality of life I have enjoyed with that choice.  My asshole will never be a "taco salad with a little zing to it".

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN???????

No one who was originally involved in this is quite sure how this topic came about.  And yes, we're all a bit creeped out.  Despite this, Agent Anus still tries to claim he has maintained his dignity and manhood.  Yes, you read that right.  Your bitch turned your cornhole into a Taco Bell ad, and you say you still have dignity??

Fuck this, I'll just get old and accept that some shit just doesn't make any sense.  No finger is goin up my ass without a city getting burned down.