Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Fucking with Samsung chat support

Yes, I got bored again.  I wanted to know when Samsung planned on releasing Android 2.3 for my phone, so I hit up the Samsung chat support team for some info.  Unfortunately I didn't get the first chat copied with Stella which was mildly entertaining, so I decided to go for round 2 for humor.  Enjoy!


Chat Information Please wait for a Samsung Agent to respond.
Chat Information You are now chatting with 'Vick'. There will be a brief survey at the end of our chat to share feedback on my performance today.
Chat Information Your Issue ID for this chat is LTK4380747712X
Vick: Hi, thank you for contacting Samsung Technical Support. How may I help you today?
Visitor: Hi Vick....how are you?
Visitor: Your first name isn't Michael is it?
Vick: Hi, I'm fine.  
Vick: Please go ahead with your question regarding your Samsung mobile phone.
Visitor: Ok, awkward. Anyways.....
Visitor: You're familiar with the Samsung Epic 4G I'm assuming?
Vick: I'm sorry, we are not authorized to share our personal information.
Vick: Yes. Please go ahead with your question regarding EPIC?
Visitor: Ok, here's the deal. I want the 2.3 update.
Visitor: I mean WANT it. Real bad...like a fat kid eyeballing a cake.
Visitor: You can see my level of desperation right?
Vick: I understand that you would like to know the information regarding the Android 2.3 upgrade on the handset, am I correct ?
Visitor: Well yes, as it would be socially unacceptable to put it in my pants as opposed to my phone :D
Visitor: Now here's the problem.....
Visitor: You guys haven't rolled it out yet, which makes me sad.
Visitor: Being a grown man and crying over a phone update doesn't get me many dates.
Vick: Thank you for confirming.
Visitor: I'm guessing you've never done this, so you may not be able to relate.
Vick: I apologize for the inconvenience.
Visitor: Now what I need to know, is when is Samsung releasing this to Sprint, then to us so I'm a happy fat kid with my cake.
Visitor: Errrr.....gingerbread in this case.
Vick: I'm sorry. Unfortunately, as of now there is no official information on the release date of the Android 2.3/Gingerbread from Samsung and you will be notified by the carrier and in the Samsung website when/if the update is released. We are unable to speculate when/if a software revision might be available due to the fact that this might lead to inaccurate information and confusion.
Visitor: Ok, here's my next question.....
Visitor: You have 2.3 out for the Nexus S 4G, which is basically the same exact thing as the Epic.
Visitor: So why not just roll it on out.
Vick: Sure. Please go ahead.
Visitor: Make us all happy :D
Visitor: I want to do cartwheels in my excitement Vick......help me, help you with my cartwheels.
Vick: Please accept my sincere apologizes, I would have surely helped you if I had the information.
Visitor: Do you not find it wrong that they would taunt is with it on one phone, but not the other?
Vick: Should this become available, it will be posted on our website in the Samsung Download Center.
Visitor: I'm smelling the frosting on the cake, and I can't grab it.....
Visitor: Ok, let's make a deal. I have an idea.
Visitor: I'll make you a Gingerbread cookie and mail it to you there. You lovingly roll it up in a nice APK file and shoot it over to my phone with the love in your heart.
Visitor: How does that sound?
Visitor: I'll even make an extra Gingerbread cookie for you to enjoy.
Visitor: You do like Gingerbread cookies right?
Visitor: I'll cut them out to look like 2 dogs fighting Vick.....
Visitor: Or maybe even a falcon or an eagle.
Visitor: Caw!! Caw!!
Visitor: See....bird sounds.
Visitor: I'm trying to work with you here.
Visitor: Vick?
Vick: I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience.
Visitor: What about my offer.
Visitor: This isn't an inconvenience. Inconvenience is realizing your girlfriend bought large condoms when you only fit a medium.
Visitor: So are we going to be left out in the cold, staring through the window in desperation while the happy kids play with Gingerbread?
Vick: Please be professional to continue the chat.
Vick: I would be forced to close the chat, if you use continue using profanity.
Vick: Just to confirm, do you have any technical questions for me?
Visitor: You're right.....I'm sorry. Mentioning a girlfriend is vulgar.
Visitor: Yes, I'm still wondering what I'm supposed to do about my super phone.
Visitor: Your ads stated this as the best phone on the market, but I can't get Gingerbread :(
Visitor: See....sad face.
Vick: I'm sorry. As referred there is no information regarding the same.
Visitor: Regarding Gingerbread or my girlfriend who doesn't measure first?
Visitor: I mean I told her it was cold outside....
Vick: Do you have any technical questions on Samsung Mobile devices?
Visitor: Yes, when is 2.3 being released? I heard it's awesome!!!!!
Vick: I am sorry, we do not have information on the release date  of Android 2.3.
Vick: Once it  is released it will be posted on website.
Visitor: I'm sad. Can I have a hug? :(
Vick: As it is going to be new and latest version, you can enjoy the features of Android 2.3
Visitor: Ok so you are releasing it!!!! When should I expect it for my Epic!?!?!?!?!?
Vick: There is on specific release date for the update. Should this become available, it will be posted on our website in the Samsung Download Center.
Visitor: *knock knock*
Visitor: No wait, no should it become available.
Visitor: You just promised me I'd be able to Vick.
Visitor: Now you're sounding sketchy
Vick: Yes. You may install the update when it is released.
Visitor: So you're promising me with all certainty that you will roll out 2.3 for the Epic?
Visitor: And if I have to call Mr Sansungasaki he can vouch for this......
Visitor: Pinky promise me it will be released Vick.
Visitor: Pinky promise me for all the hungry kids in Ethipoia.
Vick: I'm sorry. I see that the update might be released to install and use on your phone.
Visitor: We just went from will be to might be.
Visitor: Vick you're tryin to circle jerk me here....
Visitor: I even offered to bake you a cookie.
Vick: As referred earlier, as of now there is no official information on the release date of the Android 2.3/Gingerbread from Samsung.
Visitor: But you just told me I will be able to enjoy the awesomesauce features, and now you're being an indian giver.
Vick: I apologize for the confusion. We are unable to speculate when/if a software revision might be available due to the fact that this might lead to inaccurate information and confusion.
Visitor: Vick, I hate you now. You've broken my heart, and I take back my offer on the cookie.
Vick: I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience.
Vick: Please accept my sincere apologizes, I would have surely helped you if I had the information.
Visitor: You've broken my heart. How do you plan on fixing that?????
Visitor: Is this how you treat everyone? Get their hopes up, then shove them away?
Vick: I'm sorry. Do you have any technical questions for me?
Visitor: Yes, can I have your girlfriend in exchange for the Gingerbread update?
Visitor: That would be a fair trade.
Chat Information Chat session has been terminated by the Samsung Agent.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Question of the day....


Do you think Luke Skywalker was pissed that Darth Vader chopped off his masturbatin' hand?

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Well shit.....

Ok so I got my new phone in yesterday and got it all activated after I got home.  I would love to actually be doing this post from said phone, bragging about it, etc.....

However within 24 hours the fucking thing caught a defective touch screen illness and it's going back.  Should have the replacement by Thursday or so, so the Blackberry is reactivated for now.  I almost put my old Android phone back on, but that thing doesn't have shit for memory and I always kill it.

The other highlight of the night besides the phone...I got attitude from someone who's pic is Chester Cheetah.  How the fuck am I supposed to take that seriously?

In order news.....rumor has it women masturbate to me.  Thanks.....but that's kinda dumb lol.  Stick to porn sites for the quality material.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Episode 20!!!!

Got the new episode up, and it's a fucking classic!  Go get it now!

After a long night in studio....


Welcome to the most important part of waking up after being in the studio until 4 am the night before.Just stay hopped up on this all day and all the editing will be done!!