Sunday, February 26, 2012

Nick Doesn't Get @KateUpton, or His Respect From the Oscars

So I finally think we're about to get the kudos we deserve for the podcast, and walk out tonight with that nice shiny gold trophy.  Apparently the guys who run the show over there aren't too fond of including Kate Upton and circus midgets in the hospitality rider for their celebs in attendance.

What.......the........fuck?  Why can't I have Kate Upton on the rider list?!?!!?!?!?  I'm fucking's not that bad of a fucking request!!!!

So yeah, the circus midgets and Kate Upton are both declined on their part.  Blah blah blah "unreasonable and ridiculous requests" and all that PC bullshit.  So since they can't accommodate our list, we told them to fuck themselves and keep their trophy.  We're sticking up for the hopes and dreams of the little man!!!

Or in this case, the hopes and dreams of me.....and the bulge that's now in my pants after including that pic in this update.

I am kinda sad over this.  I was so excited I already paid for the Viking helmet to wear to the festivities.....

The official statement from our show and full rider list can be found HERE

No Oscars for us this year

It's with a sad heart that we have to formally announce that we declined our nomination and appearance at tonight's Oscars award show.  We received our notice on the nomination about 3 weeks ago for the podcast.  Apparently running video with it qualifies us, and these fuckers are real desperate for ratings that they'll take anything.

We wanted to be there, really.  Our thousands and thousands (really only a few) of fans I know wanted to see us win that damn trophy as it was a lock, but after contacting them we ran into a stalemate on a simple list of items we requested to have backstage for our stay.  At first I didn't think this was too much of an issue when I sent it to them, as they hand out tons of high dollar shit to celebs every year and most of it I have no use for.  And celebs have these rider lists all the time right?  So maybe next year.  Feel free to protest in our honor!!

Talent Hospitality Rider:
1x bottle of Capt Morgan spiced rum
2x bottle of Jagermeister
1x bottle Jack Daniels 1-litre
1x Marlboro Special Blend (gold box - short)
1x Camel Crush
1x canister of Planter's peanuts
4x bottle of Dr Pepper 2-liter (no generic substitute)
6x midget in circus attire (large red shoes preferred)
2x Taco Bell bean and cheese burrito
2x Taco Casa lite taco
1x HD TV with NFL Network access (37" screen minimum)
1x stripper pole (bolted to ceiling and floor)
2x box of Peeps marshmallow snacks
1x Kate Upton (yes, the model...request by Nick)
1x wireless internet access
1x private restroom with shower
3x Charmin ultra soft toilet paper
1x Lysol air freshener
1x jar of hand sanitizer
1x clear hand soap (container with the fish printed on the back)
2x slinky toy
1x large package of Skittles (seperated by color)
2x RSVP for local strip club (high quality only)
2x six-foot couch
1x special attendant in room to serve drinks, food, etc (female, minimal clothing)

Nick must also be referred to "The FN Icon" during any introductions, with this as correct spelling for branding purposes.

Please send a list in advance of any public appearance requested in advance.  Kevin is anti-social and will be selective and where to appear.  This is exempted if strippers are involved.

The Weekend Project: Rewiring the Entertainment Center

Ok so when we moved in this place, Kevin and I kinda rushed things when it came to the entertainment center and getting it going.  We normally tend to have things a bit more professional looking, but honestly time took precedent over organization.  We got it all set and running, added more shit here and there, and just got too damn lazy to rework it all.

We finally realized it had to happen when we were out of plug room on the 2 power strips in the back to add some of the old school game consoles we wanted to get going.  Plus we honestly couldn't figure out what the fuck went where because the wiring hell was such a mess.  I believe someone even mentioned the term "fire hazard" at some point.  Hell Hoffa could have been buried under the wires and we wouldn't have known.

So there we were facing reality that it had to happen.  With everything I first estimated we would use 17 plugs, and I was close.  19 after it was all said and done.  One to spare if we need anything else.  And we managed to get it completely stripped down and wired from the floor up in under 2 hours.

The breakdown, for those who asked:
TV, Receiver (7.1 surround), Gamecube, Airave (cell signal booster), router, Super Nintendo, Nintendo 64, Sega Genesis, Playstation 2, DVR, A/V switch, blu-ray player, Xbox 360 and HD DVD add-on.  The Playstation 3 will be back on when it gets back from repairs.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

TFSE 29: Powdered Balls and Pastries in my Pants

Click to download

This is the episode that almost didn't happen after one of our machines we host the live stream on decided to have the sound card shit out.  We've been gone a month so we got to recap all the shit we missed in the news with the Superbowl, UFC, Whitney Houston's career from our perspective, and random other crap.

Nick's balls become topic and the usage of baby powder on them, which apparently causes cancer.  This somehow transitions on a survey if it's worse to catch chlamydia or bird flu.  How the fuck do we do this?

The second half finds Kevin on a rant sharing his hate for Dave Mustaine of Megadeth, and politics as a whole....

We've also decided we don't like the live stream.  It has more people listening to the show, therefore there's expectations for us.  Please stop

Big thanks to Jen for hanging out with us and throwing out a bunch of random questions to us during the show.  I never thought in my life I'd ponder if I wanted to fuck R2D2 or C3PO.  We must get her on the show with us sometime.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Hello Early Weekend!!

So I kinda cheated and took an extra day off to score up a 3 day weekend.  This is probably the smartest thing I've done in the hours or so!  So now I'm at home relaxing, and enjoying the idea that I don't have to go to that shithole tomorrow.

Any major plans for tomorrow?  No, not really.  Sleep in, lounge around, jack off, shower, jack off.....and figure out something productive to do during the course of the day.  Maybe text some co-workers and mock those assholes that I'm home and they're suffering at work.  Fuck them if they can't take a joke.

At least now I get the joy of sitting here eating dinner, and instead of thinking "fuck this I have to go back tomorrow" I can anticipate slacking off all night and sleeping in all fucking day tomorrow.  Vacation time is fucking awesome!

I have come to the realization today that being bored as shit at my job and an Amazon app with 1-click purchasing is fucking dangerous.  This shit gives you no way to stop and CONSIDER YOUR COMPLETE STUPIDITY in buying a bunch stupid shit just because it's cheap.  I don't need any of this shit, but it's fucking there and I have the spare cash.  I have no idea what the fuck I'll do with it, but my brain it commanding me to order it!!!  Now you know how the fuck I ended up with a Buddy Christ bobble head in my living room.  I have no regrets buying is fucking awesome and you should all be jealous.  I even discussed on the podcast a few weeks ago about this being me loophole to heaven.

While I'm thinking about it......happy birthday to the little homie Amanda aka @BayDemon.  I havent heard from her all day since her major drinking binge to celebrate (which I might be guilty in encouraging excessin drinking) so I'm assuming she's probably dead by now.

Update: Amanda just popped out of nowhere and replied to a tweet I had about lesbian action, so she's still alive.

Ok so time for me to crash.  I'm tired and twitter died off like fn crazy.  Gotta find trouble to get into tomorrow, and update this shit more.  Lata assholes.

Now Playing:  Lloyd Bank - Till the End

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Goodbye Football, Till We See Eachother Again

Well I must admit, I'm quite sad even with my jager driven buzz that this season has come to a close.  Yeah, I watched the Superbowl, and I honestly didn't have an interested in either team in it this year.  Being a Cowboys fan, I naturally don't like the Giants.  Being a hetero male, I fucking can't stand Tom Brady.

So now just to get some kind of interest in the game itself, besides just watching football......I have to choose.  Which is the worst of the two evils?

Eli Manning
I've never been a fan of Eli since he got drafted and he and his bitch ass daddy pulled the "I refuse to ge4t drafted by the Chargers" bit.  Bitch, you're getting drafted in the NFL.  Thousands of men play their asses off for the game and never get the chance to make it to the pros.  Plus every time you see this fucking idiot he's always head down and pouting.  His head is down more than a whore giving 50 cent bj's.  This even became a drinking game I came up with for tonight's game to take a shot every time they showed him on camera pouting.  It got everyone playing drunk!

Tom Brady
Mr. Fucking Walking Vagina Douchebag.  I can't stand this dude at all.  Yeah, I respect this talent and all that shit, and was a one day fan when he destroyed Tim Tebow......but this is quite possibly the biggest douche in the universe.  Bigger than John Edward.  That's a big set of shoes to fill.  Do I really need another reason to dislike him?  Nope....didn't think so.

So this makes for quite a conundrum.  After much thought, it came down to someone not even playing in the game.....I'm a huge Peyton Manning fan.  If I can't directly be a fan of either of those dickbags, I can at least hope Tom loses in the house that Peyton built.  Yeah, I called that stadium his house.  If it wasn't for Peyton Manning, that stadium would never have been built and the Colts would be in Los Angeles right now.  Regardless, it wasn't an easy decision.  I had to have something to support though or I might have just not watched at all.

As usual, we ran the deep fryer over here and made way too much shit.  Popcorn chicken, cheese sticks, ranch dip, and 2 whole chickens.  That shit is gonna make some bomb ass meals over the week though.  We really need to start inviting people over for this shit as we do it every other weekend just for the hell of it.

So here we are, Giants won, the weekend overall didn't suck, and tomorrow begins a new week.  At least I got some time to hit up the video game store and pick up some random worthless shit I didn't really need but it looks cool posted up in the livingroom anyways.  That's always a win.

So, goodbye football season....I'll miss you dearly.  I guess now I should get a girlfriend to fill the void.  Then dump her when pre-season starts back up.  I might let her ride it out through the draft if she's good.  And thank you God for not letting this dickbeater in the Superbowl....