Sunday, February 26, 2012

No Oscars for us this year


It's with a sad heart that we have to formally announce that we declined our nomination and appearance at tonight's Oscars award show.  We received our notice on the nomination about 3 weeks ago for the podcast.  Apparently running video with it qualifies us, and these fuckers are real desperate for ratings that they'll take anything.

We wanted to be there, really.  Our thousands and thousands (really only a few) of fans I know wanted to see us win that damn trophy as it was a lock, but after contacting them we ran into a stalemate on a simple list of items we requested to have backstage for our stay.  At first I didn't think this was too much of an issue when I sent it to them, as they hand out tons of high dollar shit to celebs every year and most of it I have no use for.  And celebs have these rider lists all the time right?  So maybe next year.  Feel free to protest in our honor!!

Talent Hospitality Rider:
1x bottle of Capt Morgan spiced rum
2x bottle of Jagermeister
1x bottle Jack Daniels 1-litre
1x Marlboro Special Blend (gold box - short)
1x Camel Crush
1x canister of Planter's peanuts
4x bottle of Dr Pepper 2-liter (no generic substitute)
6x midget in circus attire (large red shoes preferred)
2x Taco Bell bean and cheese burrito
2x Taco Casa lite taco
1x HD TV with NFL Network access (37" screen minimum)
1x stripper pole (bolted to ceiling and floor)
2x box of Peeps marshmallow snacks
1x Kate Upton (yes, the model...request by Nick)
1x wireless internet access
1x private restroom with shower
3x Charmin ultra soft toilet paper
1x Lysol air freshener
1x jar of hand sanitizer
1x clear hand soap (container with the fish printed on the back)
2x slinky toy
1x large package of Skittles (seperated by color)
2x RSVP for local strip club (high quality only)
2x six-foot couch
1x special attendant in room to serve drinks, food, etc (female, minimal clothing)


Nick must also be referred to "The FN Icon" during any introductions, with this as correct spelling for branding purposes.

Please send a list in advance of any public appearance requested in advance.  Kevin is anti-social and will be selective and where to appear.  This is exempted if strippers are involved.