Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Being White Sucks Sometimes....

One huge drawback (in a list of many) to being white is we startle quite easily at times.  We can't help it, it's one of those genetic screw jobs we're stuck with.  The biggest problem with this is we tend to overreact in said moments of panic.

Today while on lunch I had to run some errands.  I'm sitting there at the light waiting to go at an intersection with an old building that used to have a bank in it.  It's been abandoned for some time now, and finally someone bought the lot.  I always figured they would remodel the inside for something else since it was a pretty sweet looking building.

Anyways, I'm sitting there zoned out, dying from Texas heat, and wishing I didn't have to go back to work.

Zoned out.  Oblivious to my surroundings and anything else happening.  Thinking about boobies...

EARTHQUAAAAAKKKKKKKKE!!!!!  Wait, not an earthquake.  ALIEN INVASION OMG THEY'RE BLOWING UP THE BUILDINGS AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE LASERZ OMG PEW PEW PEW!!!!!!

No, there wasn't really an earthquake or an alien attack.  Apparently they picked today to do demolition on the bank and started it off with ripping the top off of it.  While I was sitting there happily thinking about boobs...fucking oblivious to anything around me.



I hear one hell of a noise to the side of me, and look over and see this building collapsing in my direction.


Trigger the great white fear.  This is the moment where we traditionally panic.  I mean PANIC like in the movies where we get out of the car and run away screaming with our arms waving around.  RUN THE FUCK AWAY BECAUSE IN YOUR TWISTED MIND YOU CAN OUTRUN THE EARTHQUAKE AND LASERZ AND ALIENS AND GODZILLA AND CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS!!!!!  Yes, I almost did that.

I hate being white sometimes.  I think +Brenda Sand is probably still laughing at me after I told her the story.