If you clicked this link in hopes of reading something intelligent, I apologize in advance. If you're dumb enough to keep reading knowing in advance this is all stupid rambling of shit in my head right now, that's your fuck up and not my fault.
Men are no longer men
I posted this pic earlier. It's beyond true.
When I ponder this, it's quite possible that in my not so old age I've already become too old fashioned. I'm in my mid 30's now, and the cultural gap is ridiculous. When I was a kid, you were raised by a man and raised to act like a man. If you fuck up, be a man and own up to it. Don't act like a bitch, and damn sure dress like one.
Can someone please beat the fuck out of Lil Wayne for me? This skinny jeans trend is bullshit, and I put a lot of blame on him. It might not really be his fault, but being a rapper and wearing shit like that isn't acceptable. Men shouldn't wear shit like that...ever.
Who came up with the concept of these emo and scene kids? When did it become acceptable for men to become complete pussies all of a sudden? Get a haircut, stop putting on eyeliner, and for fucks sake stop acting like a punk ass and crying about everything.
Crybaby case in point, I present to you....Drake.
Parents suck, so stop having kids
This is a statistic I'm totally pulling out of my ass, but I'd safely say at least 60% of parents these days should never have been allowed to breed. You completely suck as parents. Your content with being an idiot and in turn raising your kids to be complete idiots. If you're so unhappy with the fact you got knocked up and having a kid is inconveniencing your style of living, then you should have considered not being a whore in the first place and closed your damn legs.
Congratulations, you're a parent now. It's time to grow the fuck up and act like one and try setting a good example for your kids.
For the record: As a parent, getting those new Jordan's should never come before paying rent of buying diapers. Ladies, get the fuck out of the club every damn night. Go read to your kid instead of twerking. Men, you're a dad now. That doesn't mean run for the hills when you find out she's pregnant. Act like the man you swear up and down you are.
Your deep thoughts are not that deep.
At some point when you wanted to have a deep and thoughtful conversation with someone, the concept of ending every sentence with "ya heard" "ya feel me" and "know what im sayin" came into effect. Apparently this became a standard to use on any sentence to keep you from sounding like a total fucktard.
"I fuck chickens with no lube and give a reach around to my mom cause she really has a dick ya heard ya feel me?" That sounds deep and intelligent right? No, not really.
After too many hours of annoyance on Facebook and Instagram and seeing screenshots of dipshit conversations, this works to charm women as well. And they wonder how they end up with 10 kids by different guys and their asses are still single.
Hell I went to school with majority of the people I see doing this daily, and we know damn well you're forcing this complete idiocy.
Every time I see dumbass shit like this, I instantly picture them to just be Gucci Mane because that bastards never makes any sense. Seriously, what dumb shit tats an ice cream cone on his fucking face?!?!?!
How high do you have to be for this to be a good idea?
Which leads me to....
Have we given up on education and talking like we have one?
It absolutely amazes me how so many people are content with talking completely ignorant? I know you made it past the 3rd grade, but there are 3rd graders who can hold a more intelligent conversation than you can ever hope to accomplish.
My niece is like 4 or 5 (yes I always forget shit like that) and we can have smoother verbal exchanges than many people my own age. This is a girl who can get stuck mentally in mid sentence and just freeze while thinking about what she was saying, or her ADD kicks in and she completely changes topic on me. She's still smarter than you are.
When did being gay become trendy?
Let me first clarify, I have nothing against gay people. Let's not confuse that. What confuses me is how being gay, mostly with the younger generations, has become trendy and a status symbol? Half these kids you see running around claiming they're gay and shoving dicks in their mouths left and right just 2 weeks ago were trying to finger bang any whore that gave them 5 minutes of attention. It seems more like claiming you're gay is done to make you cool instead of it being an actual sexual preference. Shit most of the people I see this shit with are too fucking young to even be worrying about that anyways. What happens when you change your mind again? It took getting railroaded by 30 cocks in the ass and then you decided you're straight?
How many of these kids running around saying they're gay just to get the cool social status of being gay have actually done gay shit? You wanna claim it, step up and go get pounded in the corn hole you little bastard. Is there any kind of actual initiation to be certified as gay, or do they just take your word for it?
I can't wait to see the legit gay people beat the fucks out of em for stealing their thunder.
I hate selfies.
It's the evil that created the duck face, and confirmed that most women can't clean their fucking mirrors to save their lives. Every time I see a woman do that duck face shit I wonder "Is that what that bitch looks like when she sucks a dick? Probably."
Yes, the dick goes right there...
And please PLEASE clean your mirror before you bust the camera out. It looks like you sneezed all over the fucking thing. Is a bottle of Windex and a paper towel really that difficult to use?
Fuck sinuses. Fuck them fuck them fuck them!
Have I made it obvious that I hate my sinuses? I swear majority of the sinus meds you can buy OTC are completely worthless. I wake up every morning and it's like my head anticipates me getting out of bed so it can blow a load like some preteen who just busted his first nut cause his teacher bent over. How is it with all the damn advances in technology and modern medicine there's no cure for this?????
Having a social media account of any type does not make you a political expert.
Yes, the government is still shut down. And yes, this is a major catastrophe which realistically hasn't impacted your life in any way but you still need to bitch about it. Since you have an account on Facebook, or Twitter, or whatever else you are now a certified political genius and a patriot!
No, you're not. Please shut up. Everyone has taken to posting about blame Republicans this, blame Democrats that. It's always the other groups fault because of the shutdown.
Have you ever stopped to think for a moment that both sides have caused shutdowns, and are only against it when the other guys do it to them? They like being able to do it, as they done it for decades now. If it was such an issue and they were so against it, they would have changed the loopholes that allow them to do it in the first place.
And no, Jesus won't stop the shutdown either. Nor is it due to them not being as big of a Jesus supporter as you are.
Side Note: The funniest people you know are probably in a metal band.
End users are all idiots, and I want to throw things at them.
I know I repeat myself with this daily, but it's true. I hate them, and I don't get paid near enough to deal with the fuckery every day. Users are idiots, and this is a certain truth we can't escape. None of them know how to do their jobs, or are too lazy to do it themselves and expect to be able to dump it on someone else to do. This is especially true if they get paid any type of commission and said work doesn't directly relate to their paycheck, even if they are the primary service person for the account. I will not do your jobs.
One thing users need to realize about me or any other person in any type of support or help desk position. We can fix your issue with the system, but we can't fix your stupidity or inability to do your job correctly. Or to be able to figure out the big blue E is the icon for Internet Explorer.
This makes me smile...
+Brenda had Pop-Tart crumbs fall down her shirt today.
Thank you for that moment.
Miley and her tongue.
Does Miley Cyrus have some type of physical condition or fuck-up that causes her tongue to be permanently stuck hanging out of her mouth? I kinda got the idea she did it a lot initially cause she wanted to break out of her shell or the image she had (cause she wasn't a whore already or something) but this shit is getting creepy. This bitch walks around with it dangling out licking every damn thing you put in front of her. Is it OK to just throw random shit at her to lick at this point like she's some kind of circus animal?
As much as Miley does suck--or licks--her creepy ass Wrecking Ball video has officially been redeemed thanks to the interwebz.
This month we're supposed to be aware of boobs...or something.
So cancer sucks nshit. Boobs are pretty awesome. OK, the nice looking ones, not the old saggy beat to shit looking tits. We don't care about those. So save them or something.
I'm gonna go back to looking like I'm working now so I don't get fired or whatever.